Konstantine
by lizzie056
Summary: In the cold, winter starlight, anything is possible. Prologue to 'Widower'


**Author's Note:** This is my fist fic so don't expect too much. I know it's emotional mush but I just couldn't get it out of my head so I thought, "I know, I'll write it down and make the rest of the world read it." Anyhoo reviews would be nice with an honest opinion. Words centred and in italics are song lyrics. Just so you don't get really confused.

Story wise Clark's meant to be about 21 and Lois 22. The rest of the background story you can pretty much work out from reading it. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Smallville or Something Corporate. No money has been made from this story. Absolutely none. Nothing. Nowt. Not a penny. Cross my heart and hope to be spanked until my bottom turns purple.

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Clark sat in silence. He didn't want to but it was all he could do now. His mind played back the events of the day like a broken record. He saw Lana's face, full of anger and fear, every time he closed his eyes. Had he been wrong to tell her? She had been so eager to know the truth, and he'd been so sure she would understand. But Clark had learnt a long time ago that his life never wielded the results he wanted. And now Lana was gone. Gone to Metropolis to "think things through," to 'gather her thoughts." She'd sworn to keep his secret, but he didn't want that, he wanted her, or at least, he thought he did. No, what he really wanted was Lois, but she was with Lex now. He had wanted to tell Lois this but hadn't for fear of rejection. He had hidden his feelings while Lex had declared his. What had Lex said? "A fair heart never won a fair maid." And so Clark had retreated back to Lana. Safe, warm, caring Lana, or so he'd thought. But now she was gone, and the woman he was really in love with was engaged to his best friend. And Clark was, again, left alone on this foreign world.

Clark was so engrossed in these thoughts that he didn't even notice the brown-haired city-girl standing by the barn stairs.

"What is it about farm-boys and brooding?" Lois called, startling Clark out of his musings.

He looked up and couldn't help but laugh. Lois was standing there with her feet apart and arms crossed, it was her 'I'm being deadly serious stance.' Clark had seen it a thousand times before, but was very rarely on the receiving end. He knew she wouldn't be able to hold it for long, not when he could see the flicker of a smile gracing her lips. She was here to be a friend, not a lecturer. That was why he loved her; she always knew just what he needed, despite knowing hardly anything. _But she's not mine._ He reminded himself. _She's Lex's._

He looked up to face her. "I don't know," he answered. "I'll have to think about it."

"Figures." She half snorted.

Lois looked down on her farm-boy. Three years ago she would have told him how pathetic he looked. Two years ago she would have said there were plenty more fish in the sea. One year ago she would have told him the he deserved someone better than Lana, someone who really understood _him_. But now, now she wanted to tell him that _she_ was that person. She didn't care if he had secrets, hell, she had plenty of her own. She wanted to tell him how she didn't love Lex Luthor, that she really loved Clark Kent. She wanted to, but couldn't. _Clark loves Lana, _she thought, _always has, always will. _

Lois Lane was not one for emotional pain. She'd had enough of that already. She wasn't going to let some Kansas farm-boy break her heart. She was strong, but, perhaps, not strong enough for that.

Lois took her seat next to Clark. "So," she started, "how you copin'?"

The quizzical look on Clark's face told her that further information was needed. She sighed.

"Well, I ran into Lana at the Talon. She looked pretty upset and, being the kind, caring individual I am, I asked her what had happened. She just said that she needed some…"

"…Time to think." Clark ended. Lois smiled, he had a nasty habit of finishing her sentences.

"Exactly. So I thought, something's up with Lana, then, logically, something must be up with Smallville. So here I am, asking you what's up."

"Chloe'll make a reporter out of you yet." Clark laughed.

"Ha ha, ha ha." Lois quipped sarcastically. "Seriously though, what happened?"

Clark stood up. He knew he was never going to win; Lois could be very persistent when she wanted to be. It would be better to just tell her truth, or part of it anyway. He turned to face her and saw the concern hidden behind these brave brown eyes. What if he did tell her, would she understand? Clark liked to think so but then, he had thought Lana would understand and look how well that turned out. No, he loved Lois, even if she didn't know it, and for that reason he had to keep her at arms length. He had to keep her from him.

"I told her." He replied simply. "Everything."

"Everything?"

Lois was confused, a state she did not like being in. Hadn't Lana wanted to know everything? Yes she had, but then, why was she so upset. And since when was Smallville so open anyway? What could possibly be so bad that it had caused Lana to run?

She turned her attention back to Clark.

"Yeah, the whole truth."

"You put your hand on a bible or something?" She shot back.

"Not quite." He returned.

Clark looked away. He never felt more at ease with himself then when he was Lois. Load, bossy, sarcastic Lois. Right now, though he didn't feel capable of reciting what had happened. He just wanted to sit alone, in the dark and think about the mess that was his life. Lois could see this and was not going to let it happen. She wasn't going to let Clark fall into the same trap she had all those years ago. A trap where you hide your feelings away from everyone, where you never let anyone get close to you for fear of being hurt.

They were both pretty much stuck there already.

"So…" Lois said as she stood up. "I'm guessing it didn't go quite as well as you'd hoped." She looked Clark straight in the eye.

"No, not really." He sighed back, turning his gaze towards the window. "I guess I just always thought she'd be the one to understand."

"Well, people never react the way you think they should."

Lois followed Clark's gaze to the barn window, and the night sky outside. Her eyes filled with wonder. She had never seen such a starry sky.

"Wow…" She exclaimed as she moved over to the window. Clark followed and took his place next to her as she lent out ove the windowsill. In the background, the radio sang.

'_This is because I can spell confusion with a K_

_And I like it…'_

Clark looked at the young women standing to his left. In the crisp winter moonlight she looked more stunning than ever, with the cold starlight twinkling in her eyes.

Lois would have thought the same about Clark had her gaze not been fixated on the infinite number of stars in the sky.

'…_This is for dying in another's arms_

_And why I had to try it…'_

"There's so many of them." She sighed disbelievingly.

'…_This is to Jimmy Eat World and those nights in my car,_

_When the first star you see may not be a star…'_

"There sure are." He replied, holding back a silent laugh at how innocent and child-like she looked.

'…_I'm not your star…'_

"When I was little I used to stay up all night trying to count them all." Lois uttered.

"Really?"

'…_Isn't that what you said,_

_What you thought this song meant…'_

"Yeah…" Lois didn't like the position she found herself in. She was opening up to him again. Why Clark? What was it about this farm-boy that made her feel so comfortable and warm? Ice Maidens aren't supposed to feel warm, and she prided herself on being an Ice Queen, impenetrable and cold. But Clark didn't see her like that, and maybe that was why she felt so close to him. So in love with him?

As she gazed up at the stars she marvelled at how much they reminded her of Clark. Always out of reach, but always there.

"It's funny." She said, thinking her thoughts out load. "They're all just giant balls of gas, burning billions and billions of miles away. Most so far away that they're already dead, and their light's only just reaching us now. I don't know why," Lois added. "It makes me sad…Clar..."

She turned to face him to find that he was already gazing at her.

'…_And if this is what it takes…'_

Their eyes locked. They stood for a moment in total silence.

'…_Just to lie with my mistakes…'_

Suddenly Clark caught a strand of hair that had fallen over Lois' face. He carefully tucked it behind her ear. Lois knew what this meant, it had happened to her a thousand times before. It meant he was going to kiss her. She began to tremble, but never took her eyes off his.

'…_And live with what I did to you,_

_And all the hell I put you through…"_

Lois felt strange. She'd been in this situation countless times before, but this was the first time she'd felt scared of what was coming. Scared of it and yet, desperate for it. She closed her eyes and allowed Clark to pull her forward.

'…_I always catch the cloak,_

_Ten till eleven and now you want to talk…'_

The softness of her cheek startled him as his hand brushed against it. She was trembling. His hyper-sensitive touch picked up every tremor, every goose-bump, every bead of sweat. He saw in her eyes the fear and anticipation, and knew that his own would be showing the same. She closed her eyes and he pulled her close.

'…_It's not hard to dream…'_

He was more careful then than he'd ever been. At that moment, she was the most delicate thing in existence and Clark knew that if he wasn't careful he could crush her like a petal.

'…_You'll always be my Konstantine…'_

Their lips met and every hidden feeling or repressed emotion was suddenly released.

'…_My Konstantine…'_

Her lips felt soft, like velvet.

'…_They'll never hurt you like I do…'_

His lips felt strong and safe.

'…_No they'll never hurt you like I do…'_

Lois felt like she was floating…

'…_No no, no no no no no no…'_

Clark knew he was…

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_(Fin)_


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